Asking For Help
I keep harping on editing, don’t I? Here’s another post about the value of another set of eyes on your work.
Another set of eyes is another chance for help.
I suffered from a tremendous bout of postpartum depression when my son was born. I was living in San Francisco in a beautiful apartment building and every single one of my windows looked out at the Pacific Ocean. It was wonderful, peaceful, quiet.
And yet, when I became a mother, I couldn’t engage with the world. I couldn’t engage with my son. It was like I was living under glass.
My downstairs neighbor who was a friendly neighbor-sort, but not a friend, saw me in the lobby and said, “If you ever need a break, we’ll help out. Even if you just need ten minutes, bring him down and we’ll watch him for as long as you want.”
He and his wife had no children. They barely knew me. But he had a sense that I needed help.
I never once took him up on that offer. It never even crossed my mind as I stared out those windows at the Pacific feeling absolutely nothing but indifference. I never even had a sitter for the first two years of my son’s life. I couldn’t accept that help.
Not accepting help didn’t help the people who offered. It didn’t help me. It was just silliness on my part. Oddly, as soon as I started asking for help, the depression lifted.
Asking someone to read your story and offer feedback is an opportunity for help with your writing, and help changing your story.
I still feel weird when people watch my son for me. I get this little ache in my stomach, but I realize too that people want to help. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t actually want to help. So I take them up on their offers and I deal with the ache.
Help is here. Another set of eyes is willing to take a look, be creative, kind and challenging all at once. Take advantage!
