I do what she says and watch her closely. I imitate the things she does.

One day she told me she said no to a huge newspaper. Just like that. They offered her an assignment and she said no.

They offered her another assignment and she said no.

And again and again and again.

I was pretty astonished. She told me that saying no is the best thing you can do for your career. I didn’t believe her. As an up-and-coming writer, I thought I should say yes and yes and yes. So I said yes to assignments that were painful to write, to editors who actually changed facts in my stories to make it better. I said yes to things I’m embarrassed to link to and things that felt like my soul was being sucked out of my nose.

I said yes to free work and work that promised payment and never came through.

Gradually, I transition out of being a full-time freelance writer and into an instructor and consultant. I didn’t pitch as much to editors and instead worked with companies. Still saying yes to everything.

As that transition happened, I became a single mom and money became tight. I thought I had to say yes to everything. If I didn’t, I’d be screwed financially. And my ego would be bruised because I wasn’t as busy as everyone else claimed to be.

Believe me, I live in Portland. People here love to talk about how busy they are. I think people here might be telling fibs about how busy they always are, but that’s neither here nor there.

Recently a new work opportunity presented itself and I was fully qualified to do the work. It was work I’d done for years. But I looked at my work story. The one about my work now that I revised into the story about the work I want to be doing. I looked and it didn’t match. Yes, I’d done the work before. Yes it would be easy money. But it wasn’t right.

So I said no.

I was honest. I said I wasn’t the right person to do it, though on paper, I was.

It was scary saying no like that, but I did it.

And about thirty seconds later an email arrived asking for an estimate on work I really want to be doing. I gave the estimate and just like that I got an assignment for the same amount of money but doing the work I want to be doing.

My friend and mentor said, “One of the most powerful things is saying no when the work is wrong. The universe loves this and sends you a big wet kiss.”

So say no to something today that isn’t right. Something that’s not part of the story you want to have. My mentor also says, “The universe abhors a vacuum.” What will arrive in its place?

I will tell you this: all authors are asked the same question: what’s your writing process?

I think the question comes from a desire to know the magic formula to produce words on a page.

How does it happen?

Sit Down and Write

Because I’ve seen hundreds of authors answer this question, I’ll boil it down for you.

The answer is: sit down and write. It’s not glamorous, is it? I’m sorry that I can share no magic. You just have to sit down and write.

Where’s The  Magic?

What’s worse is when you’re sitting there, this tiny voice in your head says, “Okay, I’m sitting here. Magic? I’m waiting for you!” And guess what. The magic doesn’t come. And then you’re sitting there saying, “Gee magic, I’d love to see you. Maybe if I just look at celebrity gossip blogs or reload my email or do a google search for myself or clean my earrings or vacuum the floor or make a cup of tea, the magic will arrive.” And it doesn’t. No matter how much earring cleaning you do! I do a lot of earring cleaning and it never arrives.

The only time the magic comes is when you’re actually there writing words. When you don’t actually need the magic, then it comes. GOD, WHY IS WRITING LIKE THAT?!? (Scuse me, that was my own inner voice.)

You must just write words. They are not the best words to ever come out of your fingers, but they’re words. You can revise them later. But you must write words. A writing teacher called this priming the pump, this whole idea of writing just to make words. Because if the words are coming out, soon enough the right words will flow too. But you’ve got to get words flowing.

Some suggestions for writing words instead of waiting for the magic to arrive.

1) If you have a mac, download the application Freedom. It shuts off your internet for a predetermined amount of time. You can’t turn it back on without shutting down your computer.

2) Use a blogging platform to write. Staring at a blank document is hard. Writing it in your blog template is so much easier. It’s just a blog!

3) Write the worst sentence you can write, then write the next worse sentence, and the next and the next until those words are flowing.

Now, sit down and write. Trust me, your earrings are clean enough.